he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
