he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Houston, we have a squirter
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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