we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
