two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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