Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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