Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
