bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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