South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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