The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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