they need to just BURY HIM!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
