If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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