I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
