I checked into jail on foursquare
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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