Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
