Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
