This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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