Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
