he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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