Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
