if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
