I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
