So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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