Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
