i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
