we have pet lesbian snakes
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
