if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
