Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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