D3 body, D1 cock
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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