i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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