If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
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