i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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