Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this boner is exhausting
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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