You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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