its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
