So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
