Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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