what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
