I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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