yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
