every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
