Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
