i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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