I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All I want is dick and wine.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
