Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
