I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
