if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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