I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
