I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My feet surprised me
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