i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
