at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
