I think im going to throw up on grandma
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
