I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
