By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
