Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
