I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
