you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
