which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Even my vagina gasped.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
